I see things in numbers. Must be the engineer in me. It was no different when a few members of the 234th Intelligence Squadron and I hit the trail determined to hike to the top of Half Dome in Yosemite Valley. So here are the numbers of our Half Dome hike:
33, 319 number of steps to top of Half Dome and back (Sam counted)
9,600 elevation, in feet, gained and lost to top of Half Dome and back
16 number of miles to top of Half Dome and back
9 number of hours to top of Half Dome and back
1 numbers of time I feel it necessary, in my life, to go to top of Half Dome and back
0410 time we left the house
10 number of minutes we left late
0700 time we hit the trail
90 number of minutes we hit the trail late
1 number of couples lost (left) in parking lot so we would no longer be late
45.24 money I spent on gas because someone forgot their wallet
28.32 money I spent on pizza and soda because someone forgot their wallet
12.18 money I spent on refreshments because someone forgot their wallet
1 number of people that, in the future, will ensure no one forgets their wallet
16 liters of water drank by three of us
3 additional liters of water one of the three should have drank to prevent passing out due to dehydration
1 amount of ‘good’ smacks it took to bring dehydrated person back to reality
400 distance in feet of the final ascent of half dome
2 number of cables the average person needs to make the final ascent and descend half dome
1 number of cables one of us needed to descend half dome (obviously not having a wallet makes it easier to descend half dome)
5 hikers spent 9 hours crossing 16 miles, reaching a summit of 8,694 feet and returning to the valley floor, resulting in 1 glorious trip.
We are pleased to introduce the newest member to our team. Our mascot – Schmuckicon!!
In the future, look for Schmuckicon on your favorite hiking and backpacking products as we begin “Trail Rating” everything from shoes, to food, to tents, to backpacks and more. You’ll even be able to find Shmuckicon on shirts and hats.
Schmuckicon is the symbol of the everyday schmuck that’s willing to hit the trail with nothing more than unfounded confidence, misguided perseverance and unhealthy intestinal fortitude. At the end of the day, Schumuckicon may be battered and bruised, but he takes great pride in concluding the hike and is better for the experience.
Keep an eye out for Schmuckicon in your area. Once you see him, you know Two Schmucks can’t be far behind.
Schmuckicon is a registered trademark, not to mention a mascot, of Two Schmucks. Any attempt to use or sell Schmuckicon for monetary gain will be met with swift and severe punishment from one or both of the Two Schmucks.